April 15, 2009

I'm The Real Facebook Narcissist

May I have your attention please? Will the real Facebook narcissist please stand up? I repeat, will the real Facebook narcissist please stand up? We're gonna have a problem here.

Have you ever noticed how almost all Facebook updates are thinly veiled attempts to broadcast and show off how awesome one's life is and make everyone else insanely jealous? Some recent examples from my own Facebook friends:
  • Is there really any chance that I will not go golfing today?
  • [name] thinks playing with seaplanes might be some of the most fun you can possibly have. Who would have thought it qualifies as work....
  • And another business takes life. I just cant get enough of this entrepreneurship stuff. Bad economy, what?!?!?
  • [name] forgot how much she loves Hong Kong
  • [name] is excited her husband is coming home! (this class of Facebook update is my personal favorite)
  • New business. My girl is here. Its going to be 60 degrees. B$s got crazy work. Drake loves the world again. Weekend of amazingness ahead. Damn, good life.

Here's what some of my updates would look like if I actually WAS the real Facebook narcissist:
  • Seventy degrees today. Took a wonderful bike ride to the high school baseball game. Chatted with some friends. Watched the team win big time. Biked home. Hit 20mph on the last hill. Awesome!
  • Met with some professional colleagues from around the state at an educator's conference yesterday. Caught up with old acquaintances and reviewed some of the latest research and trends in the field.
  • Took 30 smart and motivated business students to the state competition. Smiles all around.
  • I get to work at 7:30, come home at 2:00, go biking, and then work on starting my second software company!
  • The national DECA students are a great crew – friendly, respectful, energetic, and smart. Working with them is awesome.
  • Went flying in a Cessna 172 with an old friend. I still remember how to do crosswind landings!
  • Running an organization of 80 people. Setting goals and getting things done.
  • Teaching classes and either corrupting or inspiring young minds.

Teaching is not life. But it's a big part of a great life. To the Facebook narcissists: I'm sure your life is great and all, and no offense, but I think mine is even better. Be a teacher.

And there's a million of us just like me, who cuss like me; who just don't give a flub like me, who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me, and just might be the next best thing but not quite me!

Because I'm the Facebook narcissist, yes I'm the real Facebook narcissist, all you other Facebook narcissists are just imitating. So won't the real Facebook narcissist please stand up? Please stand up? Please stand up?

I'm totally serial.

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